The first blog

Well this is my first feeble little attempt. Where do i start? I have this connective tissue disease which the docs think is sjogren's. It all started last year when i just wasnt feeling right. Lots of fatigue so i thought i'd get something to pep me up in the form of a tonic called olive leaf extract. It is supposed to give you energy and all that. yeah well all i got was massive pain and more fatigue. I had recurrent ulcers and cold sores. feeling like crap was an understatement. i went to the doc and he gave me a referral for an immunologist. there was definately a lot of unexplained things happening. In the meantime i had only just returned to nursing and was trying to work and establish a career while feeling like death warmed up.Most of my patients were healthier than me.
Finally got into the specialist and the first thing he noticed was the dry mouth. He put me through a barrage of tests and my schirmer's test showed my eyes were as dry as an 80 year olds. I was 34 at the time. i had an autoimmune process happening and i also had severe sleep apnoea.
So i got a cpap machine and started sleeping better which was great. I learned not to take anything that will boost my immune system cause thats not great and generally got on with the process of living. I even had myself convnced that i didn't have this sjogren's thing or if i had it was gone now.

Fast track to Mid July 2008. I get a cold from work (hospitals have way too many sick people in them). I was rather unwelll and had a week of. Started feeling human again and went back to work. Four days later i was sick again. Feeling more sick this time and added a massive sinus infection to the mix. Another week off. Again started to feel human and went back to work. Four hours into my shift i started feeling stuffed up again my nose was blocking up i began feeling tired and by the end of the shift i could barely lift my legs one in front of the other to get home. During this time i had had 2 lots of antibiotics and getting no where. By this time i was thinking that i mght be havig issues with this sjogren's thing. I never get sick, certainly not sick like this so back off to the gp for a new refferal to the immunologist. I begged and pleaded with the immunologist office to get seen as i was getting desperate and knew i couldnt keep having time off work. Well to begin with i had a major candida overgrowth which was affecting my appetite,mouth and all that stuff so onto some heavy duty anti fungal medication, then some steroids to try and kill my immune system off a bit so i can recover and some other stuff to take long term to try and keep the inflammation at bay. Well this sjogren's thing is here and my journey has well and truly begun.
Fatigue, dryness of mouth, nose, eyes GI tract god knows where else. Pain. and very little understanding. This is an inisdious little syndrome that has the power to effect nearly every little aspect of your life. It can turn up anywhere and just when you think you have a handle on it it will throw you another curve ball.
It really sucks. I spent 3 years working my ass off to overcome childhood crap and its subsequent mental illness to become a confident productive member of society and for the first time enjoy my life. Now i have this hideous medical condition that is going to have a fair degree of say in how i live my life. Already i am having to look for a new job that is not so physically demanding and doesnt entail shift work. I am only 35 damn it. i have wanted to be a nurse since i was 10. Now i am having to look at not being able to work on the wards anymore.
My one saving grace is a great website www.sjogrensworld.org this is my sjogrens family. They know, they understand and everyone supports each other. Its my cyber home.
Im glad i found this blog spot as it is going to be a good area to lay down some thoughts as i begin this journey and see where it takes me. There must be some lesson i need to learn out of this.